Hands Down

I went to Dashboard Confessional's acoustic performance live here in Kuala Lumpur last night. I have always been a huge fan of the band and there's only one word I could possibly utter, awesome!

Instead of coming as the original 4 piece set up band, they decided to sent their lead vocal only Chris Carrabba. I heard that he's on solo now as the whole band is in their hiatus after they launched their latest album Alter the Ending two or three years ago.

But it didn't affect him to deliver his best performance even without his band mates. Not at all. I still remember how me and Jojo used to play their songs back in our glorious jamming days about 8 years ago. We love them, their songs, the riffs, the emo lyrics, we wanted to be them. Hahaha. We used to name Chris's band mate as "Afro Guitarist" for John the lead guitar and you'll know why if you look at his hair, "Overexcited Drum" for Mike the drummer as he's always look in his raging mode in most of their videos and "Shy Base" for Scott the basis as he always stepped back from the light hiding from being spotted in their live videos :P

All in all Chris performed well last night. He rocked it! Man, you should have been there if you are a Dashboard fan. He's really a true emo icon. Super cool! I really enjoyed the show. Me and Jojo were singing along all the way.

He started with The Good Fight, and we were blown away straight away. He did As Lovers Go, Saint and Sailor, Again I Go Unnoticed, Don't Wait, Screaming Infidelities, Dusk and Summer, the famous Vindicated, Stolen for the girls to be swept off and sent them off crazy (hahaha), The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most, the latest Belle of Boulevard, some other songs from they different albums and he closed it with my all time favourite, Hands Down. Those songs remind me of those days when I used to be so expressive in my feelings towards people that I care. Like what Chris said, it was the best days he ever had. :)

And hands down, Chris is such a deep and talented singer song writer in alternative punk and emo rock music fraternity. Probably the best ever is. He's such an inspirational for most teenagers who listened to emo music back in early 2000s, and an influence to many famous bands too. And so do I and Jojo. We formed a band, wanting and longing to be like Dashboard, lol! :P Those were the days. I hope he will come again to Malaysia in his band form. Am sure they will rock it to the ground :)

P/s : I remember I did dedicate this song's lyrics to a girl, because I really like the song and the girl but she snubbed me in cold blood! Maybe she didn't know Hands Down and Dashboard Confessional. She's forgiven anyway :)

A Thousand Years

I really like the song by Christina Perri from the recent production in twilight saga franchise, breaking dawn. It's so deep and suits well with the movie. But not for Edward Cullen :P I didn't know it was her song at first and somehow I hate her earlier single Jar of Hearts. I just don't like it.

Anyway, so I thought why not try and learn the guitar chords as well. I've posted this in my facebook page to share the chords with others. Go easy on my english and the voice. I know.. :P

five minutes heaven

what is it really to be in control? some says you have to give up control in order to gain control? it's a very delicate thing this control thing. it has a broad definition, vast perspectives but that's not i want to talk about today.

i think i did write something about self control or self mastery about two years ago when i was in the self transition towards a better chap, towards the public victory. and today i want to continue write about it. self control.

i often look it in the anger management perspective. you know, to hold your tongue from expressing the unnecessary things, things that you might regret saying them, which of course you can't take them back. and that makes it even worse.

being angry or having an argument is perfectly normal for a human being. we all have feelings, and since we are so inevitably complicatedly built, we tend to argue. but it is crucial to know the border line, when to stop, to call it off. to take a step back, and think, do we really need to win this? or is it really worth of a fight? and even, why on earth we argue in the first place?

self mastery is so deep that it can't be measured. only one knows the extend of his self control. but i like to relate it with maturity, kind of directly. if we can control ourselves against the retaliation hence self humiliation in future endeavours, we are in the right direction towards the higher level of maturity.

here i want to share how to control yourself against the constant evil mind chatter that can lead you to do or say something stupid. simple, breathe. deep breathing. take a deep breath, while counting backwards from ten to one in your conscious mind. to make it even better, imagine the shapes of the number you're counting. the more you are drawn into it, the more you are tapped in to your subconscious mind. make sure you breathe via your nose not your mouth. we all born with the endowment of breathing through our nose and directly filling up our lugs. we only breathe through the mouth for massive air intake (if that's a proper way to address it) when we are panic, suffocating or sleepy but that's yawning. and then, once your tummy or your diaphragm to be precise is inflated fully, hold it for one second and then release the air via our nose with the count from one to ten.

with extra oxygen being rushed into our systems, there's plenty of benefits that we gain automatically. one, our muscles, joints and flexes are more relaxed. two, our mind is suddenly freed up from negative thoughts, those tiny sinister whispers or evil drives encouraging us to react aggressively, especially when we are in the middle of an argument. three, it will take us somewhere in our mind, somewhere isolated. it's like you are somewhere else, your mind is withdrawn from the rough discussion. your body might still be there, but your mind is completely focussing on something else. what is more fascinating is, that something is nothing. your mind is totally empty. you regain your balance, and focus. i know, as funny as it sounds, but it is a great technique for you to tap in to your subconscious.

this is very effective if you want to clear your mind after a rough and tough day at work, the traffic congestions or what not, and let your subconscious mind take you to your five minutes day dreaming. it's so refreshing and breathtaking, hence the process :p and you can recharge your brain to continue whatever you are planning to do onwards. it helps you to develop patience, and self control.

i hope it helps. because, it does help me in my golf game and my other daily routine. i was so drawn into my subconscious mind, that i didn't think about anything during my swing, or driving. i just "do" it. it's like brushing your teeth. you woke up in the morning, you never think about how many muscles involved to pick up the brush, how much pressure you put onto the paste so that the right amount of paste coming out and placed onto the brush, how much pressure to put onto your gums and teeth and list goes on. it just happened and it happens everyday without fail.

so, use it repetitively and you'll be good at it. you can use it to control your temper or just to access your five minutes ride into your mind heaven :)

phases of life

we can not run from ups and downs. everybody has their own sets of problem. life is hard. nobody said it's going to be easy anyway. it wouldn't be a life if it's too easy. it would be dull and monotone. those ups and downs are like colour swatches of life.

i believe whatever happens, happened for a reason. it's not going to be the end of the world right? these are hard times. phases of life. some people face these kind of problems or should i say difficulties probably later in their life. but i'm just being me, lucky enough to be able to experience this earlier in my life phases.

but whatever happens, i have to be patience, remain steadfast of whatever may comes. stand up and head remain high. there are times when i felt that i am all alone in this. surrounded and suffocated. tangled by strings of difficulties. bills to pay, commitments, baby soon to be born, my house for my family for a shelter, bla bla bla.

life. funny when it comes to think of it. at one point you were everything, and then some point of your life later, you are close to nothing. from hero to zero. i remember i used to write posts how grateful i was, blessings, i had everything i could have asked for. the love, happiness, stability, maturity, friends, support, respect, even golf. you name it all. i had those.

now it seems like i'm all on my knees, helpless. some friends become strangers now. your idea seems to come out wrong in every angle. perhaps it's just me feeling all down. mellowed and withered. but i have to go through these. i know i have to. i know i will. because i want to. suddenly all the positivity kicks in :)

now let us pray and cry for His help and guidance. there's no greater help and mercy than Him. i know somehow i'm destined for a greater thing. it's just that i have to endure the current situations and status quo. life. colourful. full of surprises. saturated with sacrifices hence love. if it's not like this, i wouldn't call it a living, and i wouldn't live at all.

i could not ask for more

i have been listening to old songs..and i come to stumble upon edwin mccain's could not ask for more and i'll be in my old portable hard disk..

so i googled for his live videos and he still not fail to impress me as he did to the same boy 12 years ago :) i learned to play guitar from these songs.

so here are the videos, enjoy them :) please do..

p/s : the basis can sing too..nioce! :P

vril garments by kukubal

there's so many things that i've learned in the recent months. never thought that leaving and quitting my job was a blessing in disguise.

i'm venturing into some other new things. things which alien to me. i'm learning entrepreneurship in depth. i formed my own company. i learned more about the game of business. market share, business model and strategies, pricing and so forth. never knew that i could have explored into these.

here are some updates on what i'm doing now. i'm now venturing into my long childhood dream business which is t-shirt business. i've been always a fan of fashion. i'm a shopaholic, not that bad but quite acute for a guy. i used to design and sell t shirts when i was young back in my malay college years. but now i'm doing this quite seriously.

some of my friends and relatives laughed at me when i told them i established my own company to sell t shirts. you know, can i make a living selling garments in the streets. but it's okay. i forgive them. i never really care about what people say or what people might think of me anyway. all i want to do is pursue my dreams and do things that i like, things that i love. as long as i'm happy. an answer to my so called early mid life crisis.

i've discovered so many business opportunities and factories that offers original equipment or services manufacturer in china. i've made some contacts and friends over there. i've studied about fabrics in depth. i even learned about fabric spun, blending and dye processing from friends in china, bangladesh and pakistan. seriously, there's bunch of new perspectives, a lot to be learned. who have ever thought that an engineer can get himself all drown into clothing business.

now, the next stage, the next step. i have the products, readily available. based on my market surveys. now i need business models, like where to sell them, who are my niche markets, what kind of people that i target most, the right price for right people, margins, balance sheet, capital turn over, return of investments, etc.

i'll start with the first batch of order. there are 4 of them. roundneck short sleeves t shirts, v neck short sleeves, round neck long sleeves, and v neck long sleeves. there are 5 colors available. the material chosen is 50% polyester 50% cotton blend. they call it CVC polycotton blend in textile industries. i made the designs myself. inspired by several favourite brands like zara, pull and bear, bershka, massimo dutti and etc. i really like inditex grupo, a clothing company from la coruna, spain who owns those brands. and american apparel, a clothing brand from the states who offers cool stuffs too.

i'll be launching my brand i.e. vril garments by january 2012, here in the kuala lumpur. inshAllah. we'll see how. will i survive in this rugged and jagged world of street business. the next batch will be women clothing and pique polo as additions to current products.

the key is patience. perseverance and keeping the flame burning. i'm really exploring both sides of my brain, using both sides since kukubal maju is a sole proprietary company. i'm all alone. the right side which is very much natural to me in designs, colors, networking with potential customers bla bla bla, while planning, costing, scheduling, risk calculation via the lefty. it's not easy, but this is the path i chose. i have to be patience, as i have a family to feed.

work smartly hard, pray and tawakkal. basic recipe for success :)

gradually better

i've been playing with illustrator quite geeky lately. and i think i'm getting better and better at it. when i said better, i mean way better than i was last year.

here are my latest artworks produced fully using adobe illustrator. i used to created the smart object or shapes in illustrator then exported them into photoshop for further tweaks. but now, i can do it all in illustrator. it's not that hard actually once you figured it out :P

stay tune guys as more cool artworks are coming! oh, i love being just me! :)