Mas Vale Tarde Que Nunca

We all should pick up an additional language or two. It is never too late to learn one. No matter what age are you, what state of being you are, it doesn't matter how busy at work or how caught up you are in the traffic everyday, it is really never too late to learn. I've always believe in the long life learning concept and picking up foreign language has many benefits, more than you know, believe it or not. Of course they are never the short term kind of perks or privileges but be patience, the good things will come, eventually. Did you know that it is scientifically proven that people who are multilingual has far more less chance to get Alzheimer than those who speak single language? 

I've been asked few times by friends and colleagues why do I chose Spanish. Why not French instead, for example. Well, many reasons actually. One of them is, apart from my perpetual quest to be a sophisticated global survivor who is capable to dress well all the time and converse deeply in multi languages (kihkih), Spanish is the third most spoken language in terms of world population, after Mandarin and English. It's actually a close call between Spanish & English. 20 countries in Central & South America have had the language as their official or national language, or most utilised language in business at the very least. Therefore, if I can master it, it means that I've unlocked more than half of the world population. I can travel to almost any country on this earth. 

I've also been asked frequently how do I learn Spanish. I went to class for two months. But it didn't work out that well for me. Why? One, it was once in a week class, on weekend only, and it was only 2 hours class. It was so short to have me etched and immersed in the language. Two, I have a classmate who is always "not synchronized" with my pace, and that resulted my teacher to keep repeating what was covered over and over. So that bored me. To death. Despite her (my classmate was a Russian girl) good looks, I decided not to continue the class. Futhermore, it was quite expensive to me, not justifiable, especially with that kind of pace. Not that I was being too economical bout it, it's just that I wished I could gain more than that.

So now how do I continue? Myriads of way to be honest. But here are the main ones. Here are merely just my own preference. You can mixed them up with yours or scrap them totally. It's a free world where freedom is so expensive. La libertad es cara. Ehem.

First, Duolingo. Si todos de mundo, es Duolingo. Duolingo has been my best friend for the past year or two. It is an application, available in all markets, IOS and Android and even windows shop. And the best part, it's totally free. It's very easy to use, it's fun and it offers many languages. You can choose and learn multiple languages at one particular of time. As long as you have the time and passion for it. They even offer Arabic and Turkish!

The way Duolingo is structured makes it fun and helpful. It is colourful and the lessons are arranged step by step, you need to finish the incumbent layer then you unlock the next layer and so forth. It's like playing games. But in a very foreign and intellectual way of playing. It starts with the very basic until the more complicated grammar lessons such as past participle, subjuntive etc. It also has idioms and romance lessons, just in case you might get sidetracked and your interest gets thinner. And who knows, it might come handy in future. LOL. It also encourages you to repeat the course over and over because that's the only way to train our brain to memorize. Through repetition and endless repetition. To prevent brain decay it says. Since it is available in mobile form, it helps me to learn Spanish whenever and wherever I have the time. Oh and by the way, it also links up your achievement to your LinkedIn account, another feature that might help you in future, career wise.

Two, we all need a dictionary. The basis of a good dictionary is of course, free, unlimited vocabulary or at least almost unlimited, easy to access, mobile, and if possible, offers some example sentences using the word that we looked up. For me, ¡SpanishDict! is by far one of the best interlingo or inter idioma dictionary available in the market. Again, ¡SpanishDict! is also available in all stores for free! Times are hard now, got to be cheap and as thrifty as possible! Lol. I've tried all of them the English-Spanish dictionaries available, but I personally like this one better. It also offers la conjugacion or the conjugation table for every each verb that you search. Learning Spanish is all about mastering the verb conjugations. That's the hardest part. It also has a function where it can give you a daily reminder with word of the day that can be set at any point of time in a day. How's that work any better for you? Una palabra del dia casi a diario, cada mañana!

Three, you need to practice. A lot. It is unfortunate that I've been living in a very orthodox English speaking country where, a foreign language is very foreign to everybody I stumbled upon, generally. So, where can I practice my Spanish? Easy. Es muy facil. Through deep immersion. La inmersión profunda. Spanish songs, Spanish articles, Spanish television series, everything in Spanish. I even had my phone and laptop set in Spanish. What else can I do? If those are not enough, try to read the news in Spanish. My Flipboard are set in Spanish. Watch live stream football with Spanish commentary. Any other possible manner that I can think of. A falta de pan buenas son las tortas. Beggars can't be choosers. We have to make do with whatever presented to us.

Four, get passionate about the cultures. As I already said above, Spanish are the third most spoken language in the world. Those in Central and South America speak Spanish. Except for Brazil where Portuguese is preferred. From Spain to Venezuela, to Cuba el Caribe (the Carribeans), to Guadalajara, Mexico and Argentina! So many things to learn and to see! Even Spain itself is so diverse from north in the Basque Country to south in the Andalucia. Learn to love the songs, the dance, the food. Their telenovela. There are so many things to learn and so many ways to love the cultures, hence so many reasons not to learn the language.

I even have had my own Spanish playlist in my Spotify, full of Spanish songs and my Musixmatch linked to it so that I can listen to my favourite Spanish songs and learn their lyrics there on the go. Reggaeton is fun. Flamenco fusion songs are also fun to start with! 

Five, what happened when you get stuck and your motivation grows weary? Easy, learn another language! Pick something harder. Life is always like that, we tend to appreciate what we had and be in more appreciative mode when we get into troubles. Face it, whether you like it or not. Estas son nuestra realidades! In my case, I simply went for Russian and French. Just to make me feel that Spanish is a lot more easier. Which is the very true case for me. It worked. I somehow regained my motivation to continue.

Six, look for others like you. Other people who are around you and also learning the same language. In my case, I used an app called Meetup. Yes, it is a FREE social media app. I found a group in there for French and Spanish Speakers in Kuala Lumpur. Que interesante! How interesting is that?! To meet people of your "kind". From there, we meet up once in every fortnight, for coffee and chit chat in the two languages. People from various backgrounds and professions. All with one purpose, to practice speaking. Learning a new language is all about communicating. To be able to speak or converse. And hopefully to be fluent. We even have our own Whatsapp groups, one for French speakers, and one for Spanish speakers. In there we shared a lot of information, from Youtube links to articles to the very daily basic conversations of getting to know each other. We have native speakers from Mexico, my friend from Granada, Spain, some ex students who used to study in Spain or France, some got married to native speaker and live in Malaysia, we have Japanese expat but wants to learn Spanish, we got engineers, embassy staffs (from Spanish speaking countries), physiotherapist, language teachers, business man and it is all mixed up. Jumbled but fun! Somos como una ensalada!

Who ever thought learning a new language can be so fun and colourful!

The link shared some insights why Spanish is not so foreign anymore and why it should be first choice when it comes to be second mother tongue. After almost two years of learning Spanish, and few others "foreign languages" like Russian and French, it is safe to say that Spanish is by far, the easiest to master. What you read is what you pronounce. It is like a brother to English. I would say 50 percent of the nouns and verbs are almost the same, if not totally the same. It's just the pronunciation is a bit different since Spanish tongue don't work the same. But you can guess what it is when you read it. At least it is not written in Cyrillic like the Russian! And it offers more cultural benefits than the others. From Barcelona to Chile to Puerto Rico to Panama. That's just my personal tendency to be bias. Or it might just be me being bias. Lol. But whatever it is, it is never too late. Better late than never. Mas vale tarde, que nunca. Hasta la proxima amigos, ciao!

Endless Malarkey

Salam all. I know. It's been ages since I last wrote here. I even forgot that I had a blog. Seriously. And more surprisingly even to myself is, this blog for some ambiguous reasons contains 157 posts already?! My god, was I that vocal? Or was I just being myself? Flooding rants in this very humble page that has a very limited number of readers. I am pretty positive about the statistical analysis of that. Or maybe I was just too self criticised and self analyzing, so rampant in my individualistic notions that I simply had too much to write. And that I can attest too :)

It's been a year plus since my last post. I've been busy. With many things, among all, getting to know myself. I have come to a very delicate state of mind that there is nobody worth knowing unless you know yourself. God and the prophet excluded, of course. To really know what are we really capable of, our limits and to learn to master ourselves. Age is catching up with me, to be honest with you. I've learn recently to tactfully decline to any future endeavours that might put my well being in jeopardy. Be it a strong temptation to buy unnecessary pair of new shoes or an invitation from a friend, unscheduled, for coffee hangout kinda thing, so late that I know I am so going to have a problem adhering to my morning routine the very next day. Unless, it's weekend eve's night, of course. That's different. 

Being routinely disciplined is good for me, and it is exactly what I need to manage myself. And my time. I simply just can't afford to live like that anymore. Going to bed late for example. And being so immersed in my perpetual desire to be a full time professional golfer competing in the European Tour which outside my liking, completely turned me into a complete mad golf scientist, if such thing exists. I spent too much time at the range, countless of hours practising, inviting for a party of bodily malfunctions. And I know my body is not in the agreeable state anymore, with my lower back being the most vocal about it. Too much of anything is never a good thing.

I need to be in control. In a sense that being early, on top of things, being proactive not just in work but it is so extensive that all this being religiously timely applies to my personal life. From paying the bills, the groceries, my grooming, getting my haircut, servicing my car, my financial management etc.

But what is it about good practices without consistency? I'm totally passed that period of identification and self/soul searching, whatever you might want to label it. I'm bloody thirty two and not getting any younger, apparently. Divorced for almost two years, with two kids. It is just not befitting for me to be and act in slack and sluggish. I can't. Can't afford and in my conscience, I won't. 

I think we've already came to the conclusion (in the previous post, at the very least) that divorce is not a good thing and there's indeed no need to dwell on it. But managing the "post-divorced" era is even tougher than I ever imagined. And to a large extent it does, and it does taking its toll on me and my family. Especially the children.

I am not putting any sugar coat on this. I think the children is the most affected ones. I do however, in my usual best, sprightly appear to be well managed, somehow, emotionally and extravagantly extrovert. But the fear is always going to be there. Well, I am recovered. I go out, I golf, I work, I meet people, I talk, a lot, business as usual. But it is that fear, of my children imbalanced and unconventional upbringing that worry me most.

The narrative that's been laid in front of us in recent decades is that money does rule, and unfortunately to a certain extent it does. But money shall not solely define any human being self sustainability and certainly not at the expense of integrity. 2014 was tough year for me. Financially. And institutionally. I was out of job twice. In job transitions I called it. I had to endure a torrid period of time of my life with no savings, fully depending on my parents' pension money (yes, I know, I should have not burden them anymore, but how I wish it was avoidable) and to my deepest shame, I had to borrow some money from my close friends I met at the range (guess, golf buddies are cool after all, isn't?) for legal fees etc since my ex-wife filed summons for custody of our daughter in court. Twice. Which in my rarely issued humble opinion, a true indication of greed and relationship damaging manifesto. 

She is burning bridges. That's all. A self centered move, fully disguised in the name of syariah law, taking advantage of their self proclaimed slight upper hand, only and limited to only in terms of financially. There's no rights or wrongs about the divorce decision, which in my understanding, was mutually agreed and its repercussions are to be embraced. Don't slam on the repercussions now. It's expected and of all people you should have known this since you were the one who asked for it. You can't just dragged the other party to court every time, simply just because you think things should be in certain way, or in certain manners, which are always for me, one sided, to your self benefiting only. Just because you think it is good, good for you or the children, it does not necessarily mean it is going to be good for me. And to my parents. And surprisingly, to our daughter herself. I personally don't think that she would agree with all these so called fights for rights thingy. Too bad she is too young to understand.

Enough with all the bad tones. It is just not me. You know what I've discovered recently too? You can only love yourself much and that much, above all. And self loving is the very basic love principle and loving attitude before any of us has any idea to love any other human being. Love yourself first, then talk bout loving others. Bad tones is "self-love" damaging for me.

Let's talk bout the beautiful things that happened. Oh yes, the travels. First, Melbourne, then London. I am lucky, very lucky to be honest to have such wonderful parents who see travelling as a good thing, and I am very grateful to be given such opportunity to travel with my parents despite all the setbacks. I guess, there's no doubt whatsoever now that their love for my daughter (their one and only granddaughter by the way, for the time being) stand above all. Even higher than all my blunderbusses to date, and I was very well positioned to take advantage of that :-P Yeah, free tickets etc. Who wouldn't want those? Lol.

Melbourne trip was in August last year. It was a cold eye opening trip down south. Melbourne is such well organized especially in their CBD that it is so easy for you to get your way around. Then London was early May this year. We even went to Paris too. We celebrated Insyirah's birthday that day under the Eiffel Tower. She turned 3 that day. Took the train for a quick visit to France. I finally set foot in Europe and even though it was kinda sad that Madrid wasn't included within the itinerary but I was satisfied with the whole trip, as a whole. I learned a lot from the trip. The culture, the vast western civilization, the facilities, how they manage and juggle to balance between preserving nature within the metropolitan compound and infrastructure mega conglomerate. 

I just love walking in the Hyde Park with Insyirah in the morning, with a hot latte in my hands and my mom home cooked sandwich for breakfast, spent time walking from one end to the other, sit by the lake, watching the swans and how my daughter gave them bread crumbs and chasing the squirrels and rabbits around, and passers-by talking to each others at the cafe and above all what I love most, exchanging words with any strangers that I can possibly have the opportunity to utter words with. It was just, self revealing. Talking about just about anything and to be honest, nothing in particular to some British old ladies and tourists in the bus, out of the blue in a foreign country was just fun! Some spontaneity in travel is always fun. Learned that life doesn't have to be stressful and that hard, you know. There's always a good side of anything even after such a bad thing. Yes, we all already know that life is hard, but being gloomy and living in the past just won't take you nowhere. Certainly not to Spain I guess :-P

The only thing that didn't go well with the trips is, Furqan's absence. I have made it clear to myself that the next journey shall have him with us. That's a promise. Here are some pictures from both trip.

Okay, I think it is enough of these endless malarkey. I am going to excuse myself with these wise words from Bil Keane saying that, “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Till then, appreciate today and the present, be good folks. Cheers.

An Eternal Student

I went to my old office in the twin towers yesterday. It was a good reminiscence of the good old days. It is always good to see old friends and bosses at old work place. Now I'm serving my old colleagues to supply their shortage in case there's any in the hydrocarbon finished products.

I left my previous job earlier this month to join the current one. I'm doing petroleum trading now. It was a tough decision to make, probably one of the hardest one, if there's such one. I really like what I was doing in the previous company. I like the culture, the job descriptions given, I love the liberty of control given, I was free to roam, the trust to make decisions in both commercial deals and market developments. It was fun yet full of life learning. It was the first time I'm doing sales and marketing. I took the giant leap of faith to do something I never done before, something alien to me, some tasks I never trained before, not by design or in formal educational background. But I took the challenge, to leave my comfort zones, believe in my capability and natural talents, which is, being with people.

But love affair don't last. As I was getting good in what I did, learning fast, came offers knocking on my door.   I got two offers. One to be a downstream operational consultant and another one to be a petroleum trader. Both were handsome offers. Double from what I was getting.  So there was I, in dilemma. Between my passion and my responsibility to my loved ones. My soon to be born son is due in July. So this has to be his, meant for my boy. My heir to my throne :) My family deserves a better life. Not to say that what we are having now is bad, but certainly an improved life and house earning will help. Well, money is not everything towards good life balance and happiness but money plays a big role in everything in life nowadays.

It took me sometime to come out with the decision. But good offers usually don't come knocking twice. It was sad to part ways with things that you like to do, especially when you were just about to get started to get better in it. I learned a lot. Tonnes of knowledge gathered. Finally I found something I like. After almost 7 years of professional career in the industry, after years of disappointments and "try and error" downfalls, I found it, the one dream job. And it is safe to say, I was happy, finally. But as we grow older there will come to a point where we have to make a decision against our own willing and put our loved ones first. I've reached to that point where I become less selfish and think more others under my care. Well, that's life.

Here I am now at G Tower, one of the famous stylish office and hotel building occupied by mostly oil and gas companies in the middle of the city. Starting all over again. Learning and learn and learn. I never seem to stop learning. For me, the learning process has no end. The curve is always going to be left open. And I feel like I am an eternal student in this life. I am still yet to seal my very first trade deal. Looking forward to that. I kind of like the culture here. Similar to what I had before but slightly different in some ways. The bosses are nice and ambitious. It is a new company with big aspirations. And I'm going to be a vital part in growing this company to be big. Hopefully.

This morning, as I was in the train to the office, scrolling down through my old music playlists, I stumbled to this song which I first listened 7 years ago. I downloaded it when I about to graduate from the university and I listened to it everyday during my days in the factory. The first job. Time really flies. Seems like it was forever. I've changed so much since then. Physically. I'm fat now. LOL.

So I want to share this song. It's a good song by a band called Nevertheless. About love and lover. It is saying that life must be spent like we are living and dying. Let us live like we are alive, nevertheless we are  dying, soon. Deep :P

Being an emo band star is probably the only thing remains unfulfilled yet. I've been an engineer, an executive, been in aviation operations, did governance for a while, hated it and left for sales, still a graphic artist, in love with photography, then an avid golfer and now trading. But never been a star. Not just quite be able to continue with the band thingy when we left the university.

 I now define myself as a seasoned aviator turned trader. Was a lousy engineer, a retired lover and now venture as a father and trader. But my love to my family will never cease. Enjoy the song and till then, I'm out.

Resolutions

I know, it's kind of belated already to talk about resolutions. It's already four days past the new year's eve. But when it comes to self reflections and realizations, there's never a chance to be too late and it's better late than never. Being fashionably late somehow becoming my repertoire lately :)

Well, what can I say bout new year's resolutions. It has becoming a repetitive notion, more like a cycle, endless, and boring too. For me, listing it out alone is never enough. But achieving it all is the key. It's tough. Life is tough. And too short to make it all easy for us. And for that reason, I prefer the list to be a short as possible, concise and most importantly, achievable. Let's be realistic here.

I'm pushing for thirties this year. I'm no longer in my twenties. I found it hard to find a suitable and subtle way  to say goodbyes to my mid and late twenties and a proper warm hello for my thirties. But it is all dust and done. Time flies. Like really fast. And those 10 years of late were, etching I should say. They shaped my well being, my personality, matured me up, heartbroken, joys, disappointments, achievements, etc, you name it all. But that's life, and life's like that. We can't run from all those things. I've seen the best, the worst, I wouldn't change what I've been through, I've touched the sky, I wormed myself up to leap the ground, I've fell on the floor, fell hard, hit the wall, but I did what I had to do.

Life is full of obstacles or the way I see it now, in a very positive perspective, they are challenges. Obstacle sounds too negative and too much for me. Well, I've been a fool, people called me freak, a geek, and nerd too. I've been loved, and I've been lied to. It's all like a cycle. There were ups and down. Balance. But all in all, I rather try and fail, thousand times denied. At least I know, whenever the pain felt, I'm alive. I've been right, certainly been wrong countless of times, but in the end it all worked out. The scars, are scratches of memories. They tell tales. And never healed. But time, they condone. So I can appear to be moved on. On the contrary, deep inside, I carry them all as part and parcel of my learning curve. Still do.

So what's my resolutions then? Simple, I want to get organized. And stay focused. These things don't seem to be in my list of fortes. I seem to be so incapable to stay focused. So now I want to be early. To work, for pray, family, golf, parenthood, Everything. On time for everything, in everything. Basically I want to be timely. To perfection. For me, life, it's all bout timing. And I want to be in control. On top of things. Because time is the only thing we can not buy. So priceless, that we can never turn it back. There's no rewind in life. No such thing as replay in this short span of living. I want to make it a habit. Control. I repeat, be in control.

Hence the name of the new blog layout. Breaking the habits. Since it's the second time I've chose the name, I put the 2.0 there. Just to make a difference from the previous one. I believe being timely and on time can make a huge difference and impact in my life. Hopefully it will, and I will gain control. People said, to gain control, first we have to submit. In my case, I've submitted to much, too much procrastination. I've suffered enough because of being less punctual. So now, in conjunction with me being old (lol!), I seriously don't want to be in the slavery of slackingness. I'm not doing this just for myself, but I am improving for the best for everyone, especially both in below's picture :)

Expectations Versus Confidence

Last Saturday was a memorial day for me. For the first time in my golfing career, or my golf life persona, I played in a official golf tournament. It was MCOBA Masters, an annually held golf competition among us, the old boys. Actually, it is not really a competitive kind of tournament. The way we see it, it is more like a social gathering, a get together kind of outing in a golf course where the old ones meet the younger ones, and you know the rest :) It's my first tournament, and probably the most remembered ones for more to come in future endeavours.

But I am not writing about the tournament, the excitement, the networking, the feel and pride being part of the great MCOBA fraternity and such. I'm writing about my thousand and one failure during that particular round of golf. Let us just say, that I didn't have a good round that day. Certainly wasn't playing to my current potential. Well, I hit good drives but my short games were terrible. Duffed, I topped the ball on few occasions, I snapped during my putts, I didn't chip close to the hole like I used to do, and worst, I even shanked my pitch shots. You know, that sorts of silly but costly mistakes. By the time I reach the 9th hole, my score was already up to the target I've set earlier, with another 9 to go. Crazy.

So, what went wrong actually. Definitely I'm not that kind of player. I know I can do way better than that. I even score considerably good in my standard and potential on the same course, in a round of 18, 3 days earlier when I went for a dry run to get me well prepared. Which, makes it more unbearable. The frustration.

In the name of a game called golf, the mind plays a crucial role. The old sayings said, 90 percent of a round of golf, is played in the mind. Which I can never agree more and argue less. It is so crucial that it takes control of everything. Not just my swing, but my confidence, and definitely my pride.

So here I am, contemplating on what really happened last weekend. Was it the nerves? That rush of blood to the head? Pounding out, taking control over me and letting me down? Yes, but only in partial. It was the expectations that really killed me. The expectation is always considered by most to be working parallel with confidence. The higher the confidence is, automatically the expectation is sky high and vice versa. I beg to differ. In golf, the opposite is true. The higher the expectation we set in a round of golf, the more pressure we put on ourselves to hit great shots everytime. Which is a great recipe for failure, a cardinal's sin we call it in golf.

When I put certain expectations in this very first tournament, subconsciously I've put a certain target of score, or a particular level of play to be met during that round of golf. What happened was, when I hit a bad shot, my mind, my pre-frontal cortex ( the CEO of the brain, not the motor system that controls the body and muscles movement) quickly assessed my swing, to find the culprit, more like a fault finding process. And my mind breaks down my swing part by part to find the very mean of faultiness. When I thought that I've got the answer, subsequently I tried to correct it in "the level of my swing", not in the mind. Which resulted in doing more, or overdo, not less. Well, doing more or overly done in golf means disaster. In golf, less is more. As a result, there were worse shots, and I even missed a less than 12 inches putt. Bloody frustrating.

Why did I put too much pressure on myself? I don't know, maybe with all the preparations I've made, all the time and effort I've poured into, the equipment that I've upgraded, not to mention the apparel and garments that I've tried to match up everytime, I expected myself to put such a performance up to that "standard". But when I get too excited bout it, hence the silly mistakes, I only let myself further down, so low that I couldn't recover up to the last hole. Which is so not me. It felt like I was just started playing, like how I used to be 3 years ago. That showed how devastating it was for me.

So lesson is learnt. Now, I'm not just going to practice the swing itself, but the mental aspects as well. Recovery from a bad shot is part of the lesson plan :) You know, living in the moment, not in the future, and definitely not in the past. And try not to putt too much unnecessary pressure on myself. For a better score and the hopefully I will enjoy my golf tournament more in the future.

I know I can do better than how I performed last weekend. With the knowledge, the techniques, the equipment, the drive and with all the time and efforts I've put into, I even can play with a very low score of 88 actually. But I've to take it one step at a time. Next tournament, I better prepare myself not just in the swing perspectives, but in mind department also. Managing my expectations exponentially, maintaining my self confidence, controlling the nervous feeling, that sort of stuffs.

Golf, oh golf. I wonder, how on earth did I get so immersed into it in the first place?! Immersed and so etched that the game is shaping my personality, bit by bit :)

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

People said that God work His magic in many forms. He can bless you in many ways. Now I'm bidding on it fully. I do believe in it. No longer just a hearsay. And it is like a wonder when you think you are about to crack out and cramp in, then all of sudden He cheer us with set of good news. Irony.

Truly. I am so grateful for His blessings and favours bestowed on me. Now my 6 months old daughter, Insyirah is a sister. Last week, we found out that my wife is carrying our second baby. And in conjunction with that, I got an offer with another company. A better offer, a managerial post and finally I'm going to do something I'm naturally comfortable to perform. Sales and marketing. Utilizing my talent. I'm all comfortable meeting new people. Selling ideas, persuading, sharing thoughts and opinions, gathering info. It's all me. It's new to me as I never really do a true marketing job before. But I have a strong feeling that I'm going to do just fine. Naturally.

And for the second baby, both of us, my wife and I hope that it's going be a boy this time around. We pray for it, we work for it. Towards it. You know, things like, eating more meat, reading Surah Yusof, and so forth. But still, we leave it up to His hands to decide. We will be all happy even if it's another baby girl.

Therefore, I'm all getting ready and prepared to face these new challenges in my life. New career path, second child coming. Full of joy. Full of good hopes.

We are working hard to work things out. To get both Insyirah and Nurfirdaus getting transferred here to Kuala Lumpur. I think it is time for us to end this so called weekend husband title thingy. It didn't help and it surely doesn't going to help at all. Obviously. I need to get things sorted out. I need my family to be around me, all the time.

Good things do not happen for no reason. And good things come to those who wait. With religiously patience. Like what Sam used to nag me. And I am all thankful to Him and Haji Sam for all these. With the right attitude, right mindset, constant doa and tawakkal consistently, InsyaAllah, things will work out the way it should be best. Fingers crossed. Ameen.

Golf As An Obsession Or A Lifestyle Instead?

As clear as the title is, it is an obsession to me now. I am all erratically obsessed in golf nowadays. It's like I am a mad scientist trying so hard to unlock those so called mysteries or secrets of being a good golfer. Every pieces of the swing. The grip, set up, the take away, backswing, downswing, impact and release. Everything. And because of that, I've engaged a professional golf instructor for a month long to sort of like "correct" my swing. Well, I need a reference or I will never improve.

It is amazing how complicated a golf swing can be. It is not an easy movement of body parts and muscles. In that two seconds, so many muscles and things get stretched and released. It is a complicated set of movements. And after three years of golfing, I have had my ups and downs with my swing. There's a lot things to be comprehended, to juggle during that particular fractions of two seconds.

And that's the problem. Most amateur golfers out there including me, are so keen on improving our swing mechanics with the mindset of understanding those stuffs as soon as possible. It's like we want to be swinging so good, dead straight and long in one day. Like those pros in the television. Which is impossible. Twice as wrong, I used to think that I will never be as good as them. Which is bloody damn wrong. We can if we quit our job and play golf seriously full time. But then, I have to ask myself again, is it that what I really wanted or should remain as a recreational golfer. The ideal notion is, we shouldn't be thinking of competing them. We should have this objectives, which are, playing at our fullest potential and enjoying the game. Golf like any other things in life, demands dedication and patience. Of course talent, good hand-eye coordination, flexibility and athleticism play a big role in relishing our true potential in becoming a good golfer. But I do believe that good sound fundamentals of the swing bio-mechanics and proper technique and training dictates or should I say accelerates our learning curves in mastering the whole world of golfing. We got to have a good basic before we even start shaping our swing.

And that's the problem. I never really mastered my basics three years ago when I first started. So I was kind of wandering in the dark, fixing every little problems that I've encountered through out my "golfing career" by myself, or searching through the internet for quick fix tips. And those were not only left the problems unsolved permanently, it developed bad habits, set of compensations, ingrained in my mind that I should be doing this instead of this without knowing the real hard truth or reasoning of the problem itself in the first place. And yes, it created a lot tonnes of other swing problems.

And now, I've realized that all those problems actually came from a very basic section of the swing. It's not even in the swing yet. It's the grip. I'm barely swinging yet. How irony is that. How on earth a grip can lead to many swing faults, destroying or should I say hindering my development as better golfer? Well, let me deliberately explain this more.

Firstly, we have to have a correct mindset about golf. Well, I was wrong all these years. Golf is about finesse. Not power. It's about delicacy and subtleness. Meaning, we should never, ever grip the golf club hard. Instead, the more loose we grip, the better chance we have to make that smooth, effortless yet powerful impact on the ball, hence power and long shot. I know, it is hard to believe this. But it is that dead blunt true. The harder you choke the club, the more difficult for you to have full shoulder turn. Your wrists, arms, and shoulder get tensed up, limiting the flexibility, the fluidity in swinging through the ball. Yes, I said, swing through the ball, not hit the ball. I shouldn't be trying to flip the ball, or helping to hit the ball with muscular strength or trying to add more power in lifting or launching the ball up in the air. The club, because of its loft angle, shaft length and flex will deliver the descending blow itself upon impact.

So, from now on, I am practising swing my club no matter what club it is, be it the big stick the driver or even the shortest flat putter effortlessly, freely, with loosen up wrists, arms and shoulders. Relax, and breath out as I go make the swing. Not to swing so hard like I want to hit and break a wall or something. But the mindset plays a very big part in this. Change is hard. Changing or breaking a bad habit is bloody hard. I'm now instilling the idea or notion that less is more. Loose is power. Tightness is limiting. Grip the club like I'm holding a bird on its neck. I don't want to be responsible in choking a poor bird. I want to make birdies, not killing birds. And this sort of funny mental ingraining is very essential in keeping it intact.

Number two, the secret that I've overlooked, or blindly not knowing over the years is, a good golf swing is a lower body driven kind of swing. Not the upper body. Certainly not the wrist and arms. True, the arms starts the backswing, coiling for power, in my right hip and glute. But, it's the left hip that starts the down swing, hence the accuracy and effortless power. All those big muscles, not small small muscles. Golf is similar to tennis in some ways but definitely opposite of badminton where it get all wristy.

Number three, all these years, I've referred or should I say, mimicking those swing I saw in the television week in week out. I was trying to copy the feel of my golf idols, Luke Donald and Ian Poulter with the idea at the back of my mind, that if that works for them, it should work for me too. Well, one thing I've realized this late, golf swing is a unique set of body parts' movements. It may varies from one person to another. Yes, the fundamentals are the same but, it shouldn't be that rigid. There's no such thing as a textbook swing. Every swing is personally tailored for that particular golfer. It all depends on each player's flexibility, athleticism, the potential during that particular period of time, how fast they can grab the whole idea of swinging and of course height and strength.

What we should be looking for is, the best swing that works for every each of us. The swing that easy for us to do on the course every Sunday, the safest injury free kind of swing and the best part of it, the most effective swing for us during that particular period of time. I'm saying this because, every golfer has a progression in their career as they go along. Those pros, they are not as good as they are now, lets say 3 years back. What I'm trying to say, that swing is fit for me, three years back, and I was all happy. It worked totally fine back then. But we are human, endowed and blessed the capability to adapt and improve ourselves that makes us to keep learning and improving our swing. We are so designed to adapt as we go along and rising up our expectations is a bi-product of learning. What we need to do is keep looking for that middle ground or balance point where it delivers our desirable shot yet not compromising safety and accuracy. I was swinging my 5 iron to reach the 100 meters marker at the range three years ago and now I've reduced it to 9 iron. Better impact position, better ball striking, faster swing speed or many other factors that contributed to that one thing, distance. But again, golf is not all about power and distance. It's a game where smarter people excels. During that time, my expectations were different. A golf round with a hundred over score with more than a dozen balls used was totally fine for me. But not anymore. Now I want to lower down my score and complete 18 holes using only 2 balls at most. Because I'm a normal human being with a brain that capable to learn. And for that reason, my potential also keep increasing from time to time.

Which is why I love so much about this game. I'm starting to believe that golf isn't just a game. It's a cult, a culture, and even a lifestyle. For me, it's a tool to indicate my self improvement progression over the years. And the best part of it, it incorporated in other parts of my life. I'm more patience, composed, a bit more of a planning kind of person instead of a rushing stuff quickly kind of guy. Golf matures me over the years. Because in golf, every shot counts. And we are all thinking of those shot to make every time. We put an effort to plan and manage the swing. That's the good thing about golf. I'm not saying it doesn't offer any cons or flaws. It does. It is never enough in golf. Every time I hit a perfect shot, I've always want to try to "perfecter" the perfect. I know, as silly as it sounds, but that's the problem about me and something that I have to manage. Being content and less contentious over my already perfect swing :P Because when I want to "perfecting" the already perfect shot, lets say I'm saying to myself I want to hit it further and longer, and there's the point where dozens of problems creep in. When we want to hit longer, our subconscious mind will automatically tell us and our muscles to swing harder which of course, tensed up the muscles and the number one source towards a bad fat hitting the ground first kind of golf swing :(

I do really hope that I can reach and extend my potential and enjoy my game every weekend as I've already put a lot of time and effort in improving my swing as good as my self personally. Fingers crossed.

manliness through wisdom

I've been very quiet for the past few months. believe me, there's no one else to blame but me. regret to inform you that I'm still very much struggling with my long last antagonist in this very life, my BFF, Mr. Procrastination. sigh~

but still, I do feel obliged to write and update about..some stuff. despite I feel like there's nothing new, nothing exciting to talk about. this blog was meant for kindness and virtues, a platform for moral and conscience conundrum unfolding. but I do seem like I'm running out of my wisdom, right?

anyway, Insyirah is three months old and nine days by now. she's getting bigger, heavier and prettier day by day. and smarter too :) and she looks like me too! the hair, the eyes, the eye lashes, her fingers, her ears, the smirks, her feet, everything. she is so me. I like the idea of her looking very much like me. but there's always a little bit of my wife in her. the love. reminds me of many things. 

so what now? I got a good job enough to pay the bills, Insyirah is smart enough to watch cartoons and laughs bout it, soon my wife's going to be transferred here in KL (insyaAllah), my golf game is never been better, my sister is back in  herself now, my dad quits his job and grills potatoes for us for dinner, my mom is still my mom and still bake cookies for this coming festive holidays, everything is so perfect right now. 

but me being me, I'm always looking for something else. like there's always something else out there more than this, more to it. like there's no enough to all this. like there's something missing. like a puzzle. a piece of me that still lacking. for me to be better of it. it's like being Bruce Wayne but not Batman the Dark Knight. it's like being just Robin, not Batman. it's like I'm incomplete. I have no idea what it is. but I'm going to find out.

am I not happy? how can I not be happy with all I've got and for all I am today. it's not an issue of happiness or being grateful for all the blessings that have been smothering me. it's an issue of being what I'm suppose to be. what I am designed for. fulfilling the destiny, the dream, the idea that MCKK has etched on me. being good is never enough. we have to be great. be the gentlemen, the white knight, like what it is written on our coat of arms, fiat sapienta virtus, manliness through wisdom. it's an issue of me being a man, man of many things, that sums one thing. a wise man.

I think I need to sit back and think about this missing piece of me that remains illusive. I need to contribute more to the others. to the society. to the people. but I don't know the medium or in what form can I contribute mutually best for me and for the others.

well, it's always hard being me. my patience and inner strength are like iron steel. being plain different is not easy. always pushing myself to be everything, even something that I will never be.

my vision of love

my daughter insyirah is almost a week's old today. so many things happened for the past one week and i learned a lot of things too. from the contraction, pre labour, during labour itself, post labour, the breast feeding, post feed burping, woke up multiple times at nights, cleaning and changing the diapers, the registration, visitors, and jaundice.

yes, i was in the labour room and i witnessed it all. the pain, the sacrifices, the love of a mother giving birth. i couldn't help myself not to weep. it was so painful, that i didn't pass out even though there were blood everywhere. i was so focused on my wife. calming her down. cracked a joke, but it didn't work out. the doctor even used a scissor to cut it a bit to ease the delivery. my god :(

and i could see her hairs and there she was, the labour room was filled by her cry. her first tears. and what a relief. i went for wudhuk and athan her immediately. and only Him knows how i felt that time. i cried. she stopped crying and looked at me when i athan and exhaled syahdah at the ears. and i could see the vision of love. so pure. so clear. she even tilted her head so that her right ear is closer to my voice. smart girl :)

she's such a beautiful baby. everybody loves insyirah. my parents, my parents in law, sisters in law, my sister, everybody. i was crying and smiling at the same time. so soft that i couldn't hide my feelings. mixed feelings. wonderful feelings. it's like my testosterone plummeted :P

after 5 days, her bilirubin level increased to 16.5 and she had to be admitted so that they could put her under UV phototheraphy. i couldn't sleep. worried. but alhamdulillah, after one night the bilirubin level decreased to 12.3 and discharged today. again, another relief of hearts. having and raising a baby is like riding a roller-coaster, taking me to the extremes. one day you are all smiling while changing diapers, and you can be scratching your head worrying why she wouldn't want to feed.

anyway, in conjunction of kris allen new single, i dedicate this song especially to my girls, my wife and daughter, my vision of love and to my family who helped us a lot for the past one week. what a week it has been. i really like the song. until then, i'm excusing myself to continue my journey deeper into this parenthood world :)

insyirah : labour on labour day's eve

i'm stranded in the bus terminal. sitting alone on one of the benches, waiting for my bus scheduled for another 3 hours. bought the ticket on my second attempt after i was disappointed by the fact there was no ticket for tonight. so much of my gambling for impromptu tickets. maybe because it's going to be a long weekend since the labour day is just around the corner. decided not to go back home, because that would be such a wasted back and forth journey.

lucky there was a girl wanted to sell her newly bought ticket. it's going to be too late, according to her. she was having the second thoughts perhaps. but it was fate and determination that made our path crossed. i was desperate for the ticket that i was thinking to drive myself back, worse comes to worst. and there was she wanted to reimburse her second thoughts' damage. i need to go back. because my wife is feeling the contraction already. the opening is already three centimetres long. i do not know what does it mean, but i'm guessing that's a red alarm. alarming that the baby is soon to be born, any hours, maybe tonight, perhaps the next day. labour day on labour day, huh?

i'm going to be a daddy soon. there's something special about the baby. after several times of scan, we yet to know the gender. because everytime scanned, the baby always found "its" way to hide. too shy to let us know and too smart to keep us in ponder. so everybody is assuming it's going to be a girl. the doctors said so, my parents in law, everybody. but i remain true to my intuitions and feelings that it's going to the other gender. i don't know how i know and how to explain but i have a strong feeling that it will a boy. don't know why but my daddy sense tells i'm going to hold my first son in my arms soon.

but whatever the gender it will be, my wife and i are grateful of His precious gift. as long as he or she is healthy, a boy or a girl will do adequately. and i can tell you what a wonderful feelings that i had for the past few months. watching my wife sleep, struggling with the big tummy. all excited and eager to see the child, to hear her or his first cry into this world. what a feeling!

i've decided to name her (using her based on the doctors' medical opinion) "insyirah". even if it's a boy, i will still name him the same. i think it's going to be a good name. it means, there will be a bliss after every misery. solace after struggle. taken from the surah al-insyirah, deriving about the prophet and his trouble thoughts after all the sufferings he endured. and He promised the prophet in the surah that he would victor at the end of his jihad and fights, but it demanded patience and high endurance to see it all through.

i chose the name because it reminds me so much of all that i've been through. after all these years. the heartbreaks, the hardship, my patience, the journey in my life, the love, the tears, the ups and the downs, everything. and i do hope that my child will carry the name and life it through with grace and remain patience until the end of his or her life. i really treasure patience, it's a trait that i've been trying to inculcate within myself, my family and a quality that i seek for or into a person. my sister told me that i'm a guy who can control himself well and be patient even in a stormy situation. composure might not be my best repertoire but i know patience is one of my limited fortes.

i know it might sounds a little bit girly, but actually it's a unisex name. can be used on both gender. now let's pray that my beloved wife will have a safe labour, fighting with her life to deliver me an infant into this world. i don't think i can call it a living without her. the way she treats me, i can never marry anyone else. hope that everything will go smoothly and good things will come and fall into their places. it is really a blessing from Him, to have this opportunity, this parenthood thingy, these feelings, the every details, the everything. fingers crossed!

Hands Down

I went to Dashboard Confessional's acoustic performance live here in Kuala Lumpur last night. I have always been a huge fan of the band and there's only one word I could possibly utter, awesome!

Instead of coming as the original 4 piece set up band, they decided to sent their lead vocal only Chris Carrabba. I heard that he's on solo now as the whole band is in their hiatus after they launched their latest album Alter the Ending two or three years ago.

But it didn't affect him to deliver his best performance even without his band mates. Not at all. I still remember how me and Jojo used to play their songs back in our glorious jamming days about 8 years ago. We love them, their songs, the riffs, the emo lyrics, we wanted to be them. Hahaha. We used to name Chris's band mate as "Afro Guitarist" for John the lead guitar and you'll know why if you look at his hair, "Overexcited Drum" for Mike the drummer as he's always look in his raging mode in most of their videos and "Shy Base" for Scott the basis as he always stepped back from the light hiding from being spotted in their live videos :P

All in all Chris performed well last night. He rocked it! Man, you should have been there if you are a Dashboard fan. He's really a true emo icon. Super cool! I really enjoyed the show. Me and Jojo were singing along all the way.

He started with The Good Fight, and we were blown away straight away. He did As Lovers Go, Saint and Sailor, Again I Go Unnoticed, Don't Wait, Screaming Infidelities, Dusk and Summer, the famous Vindicated, Stolen for the girls to be swept off and sent them off crazy (hahaha), The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most, the latest Belle of Boulevard, some other songs from they different albums and he closed it with my all time favourite, Hands Down. Those songs remind me of those days when I used to be so expressive in my feelings towards people that I care. Like what Chris said, it was the best days he ever had. :)

And hands down, Chris is such a deep and talented singer song writer in alternative punk and emo rock music fraternity. Probably the best ever is. He's such an inspirational for most teenagers who listened to emo music back in early 2000s, and an influence to many famous bands too. And so do I and Jojo. We formed a band, wanting and longing to be like Dashboard, lol! :P Those were the days. I hope he will come again to Malaysia in his band form. Am sure they will rock it to the ground :)

P/s : I remember I did dedicate this song's lyrics to a girl, because I really like the song and the girl but she snubbed me in cold blood! Maybe she didn't know Hands Down and Dashboard Confessional. She's forgiven anyway :)

character of water

with all the necessary gadgets plus with the help from my nephew, i finally managed to capture water drops and their behaviour. very interesting indeed. such a simple natural gravity drop obeying the law of nature can be so intriguing.

here are some of the pictures i took.

i used my typical set up, cardboards, tapes, red pebbles from my mom's house decoration, her laundry whitening dye for the blueish purple-ish coloring and towel of course. my room was wet, splashes were everywhere. they gave quite of the character. the splashes the ripples. so many forms and directions. i had fun. really :)

the real challenge was the timing. it was all about timing. but after few tries you'll kinda get the idea. the rhythm. okay, next project will be smoke or light trail project. we'll see. until then, see you when when i see you :P

logo designing

remember when i told you in previous post that i wasn't in a rush to come out with a logo for kukubal maju? well, i lied :P i couldn't resist myself from working on it intensively.

so here is my first design proposal. i call it the "cool tree" logo. it represents me as a whole. why tree? well, i've always like to link trees with human character. the roots are the characters or values. the branches are the behaviours portrayed. in order to have good or balanced living we need strong roots. something like that.

the sort of like creeping up branches are symbolic to the word rising or getting better or growing. suitable for the word "maju" which means success in malay.

furthermore, here is the improved version of 1905 from the previous post. this is to be printed on yellow t-shirt for the pavillioners or those old boys from mohd shah house. i've improved the edges on both the end of number one and five to give it more balanced kinda look. i've also moved the since wording to the upper left corner to give it a more meaningful "since 1905" wording chronology.

more designs coming. stay tuned! :)

convocation

i went to my baby sister's convocation yesterday. my mission was to take pictures, and to be there for the family. rarely for me :)

despite the blessing to be with family, occasion and the fun, somehow i could say it ended with tragedy. blame on the landscape, i fashionably, recklessly jumped and tripped myself by heavy landing on my both knees, to save my camera from breaking. what's with Malaysia's universities and hilly terrain landscapes!?

i hurt myself quite badly, torn pants on both knees, my shades dented, my camera scratched, nasty cuts everywhere, bleeding like hell, and list went on and on.

i guess, that's the price for being lazy to follow along the provided walkway. i could have done better. seriously. but lesson learnt.

anyway here are some of the picture i took.

my dad. with artificial noise (grainy effect) added to give more drama of a proud father in his smile :)

my mom. first class kiss from first class graduate.

and another blow on my aunt's cheek! she's a kisser, didn't she?! :)

self portraits

i couldn't sleep. so i thought why not try to photograph myself. i used RAW format for ease of editing with maximum exif data retained by the camera processor.

again, using white cardboard, my tripod, in my bedroom's total darkness, so dark that the lens couldn't find anything to focus on so i used my guitar pick as proxy focus point, my speedlite flash and an ikea stand lamp as artificial illuminations, tapes and now, me. after minor tweaks in adobe lightroom, here are the results. i know it's not much and those probably mediocre shots for some of you or perhaps all of you but, it's a good start. i think. and boy, i had fun, at least :)

room for improvements? of course, always will be. i need more gadgets. i need (want actually is the right word) soft box(s) and studio lamp(s)! greedy mode on! hahaha!

fresh start

there is it. that is it. i left PETRONAS. today is my last day. i just surrendered my staff ID card, the laptop and my medical card. today, i voluntarily ceased my employment with the company where i've worked for the past five years. i ended it today.

why did i left? so many people keep asking the same questions again and again. there's a long list of reasons behind it. now, i am comfortable to talk about it, literally. since i am no longer with the company, i think i have the edge, the platform to be able to discuss about it. i left because i wanted an escape, a great escape from what bothered me. the never ending fire fighting. i constantly struggle to motivate myself to perform. i found it difficult to pull myself together and drive towards operational excellence. i left, because i want a fresh start. a new place, somewhere else where i can start all over again. learn new things. i needed a new challenge. i was getting complacent and getting dull. i need to see new things. new puzzles to solve.

i left because i think it's high time for me to move. five years in one place is too long they say. maybe. perhaps i should have opted for new windows a lot sooner but two or three years back was different. things were different back then and certainly change took place now, permits me to move. i was inexperienced. i was a lot younger, naive and full of temperaments back then. but now, things changed. not to say that i'm wise now, but i think i've done a good job with self development and i am more compose now, a lot tactful in my behavior. i have experiences in lot of things, be it in operations or management and entrepreneurship.

so i think the time has come for me to open my windows of options in order to find new boxes of better stuffs. better offers, better jobs both in terms of monetarily and growth. sam said, life is all about opening the boxes. there's plenty of different boxes out there for us to discover and waiting for us to be opened. if we open the right box, we will get the most of it, and the most of us.

now, let's talk about what's next. for the time being, while i am in job hunting, i am going all out in pursuing my long life hobby, photography and graphic designs. i am starting to market myself, promoting a total thorough solutions of services. for different levels of clients out there. ranging from photography, graphics, photo editing, wedding photos, outdoor photos, baby photos, family and family event photos, commercial graphic works like menu, company profile and the list goes on. will i find myself a new job? sure, i want to. but this time i am going to be very selective about my options. i want to do something where i can leverage my skills, my strengths, my repertoires. probably strategic planning, or business development or stuff like that. my forte is i'm good with meeting people. so i want to take advantage of that.

what else? pursue further studies is an option. i think MBA is a good tools for me to be well equipped if want to be a good strategic business planner. self entrepreneur is also an option. a laundry business do sounds good. i don't know so many things in my mind. i just need to sit back and carefully assess all the options available.

nevertheless, to keep me going, i've already started my graphic and photography marketing. some extra cash is always good :)

so if you need any graphic or someone to take your picture in any occasions be it in a wedding, birthday party, outdoor family get together, anything, just call me. and rates can be liberally negotiated.

until then, i am out. pray for my success, please. the new journey, new beginning starts today. and i am all opened, ready for a fresh start!

new eyes

yes, my kenny just got a brand new pair of lenses later last week. i had a deep dilemma whether to buy a new body to replace status quo kenny or, to buy lens(es) instead.

after weeks of contemplating and reviewing, i've decided that full frame body in the likes of 5D mark II is way beyond my cash flow capabilities while 7D was a huge temptation especially with 19 focus points equipped with new processor but not just yet this time.

thus, in order to fulfill my hunger for new challenges and excitements when it comes to photography, i needed to overcome kenny's limitation. constant aperture and focal length were the two items identified. hence, came the two new lenses.

let me introduce my new wide angle lens. tokina 11-16mm with f2.8. i wanted a wide angle lens after series of frustration to capture great architectural sceneries, group photos in narrow spaces and landscape with maximum coverage. the constant aperture of 2.8 is a bonus. we don't really need that wide of aperture for wide angle lenses anyway. but i'm sure it will do much advantage when it comes to low light condition.

then, i come to justify my purchasing of my new "kit lens" replacing the old canon 18-55mm lens. tamron 28-75mm with f2.8. i'm so thrilled with this lens. it offers just about the coverage i want when it comes to focal length. it can do portraits as well since it can be stretched to such low depth of field, hence good bokeh. again, f stop 2.8 factor comes handy :) and also, it can be fitted onto a full frame 35mm body, incase i want to upgrade to full frame in near future. so all in all, i'm satisfied with my new lenses.

i wanted to buy canon brand lens but the budget is rather a constraint. third party lenses have their disadvantages but they do have few pros. and the value for money is the outstanding one, i have to agree with that. they are relatively cheaper but the performances portrayed are not bad at all for third party lenses. seriously.

i hope these new eyes for kenny can boost up its function and show me what it really can offer. with a circular polarizer filter and a natural density 8 filter, i know we all can do wonders in future endeavors! here are some of my recently captured. blurred all the way :) for better pixel and clearer viewing, click on each of the pictures below.