Tuesday, 14 April 2009
i have been away for quite sometimes and i think it is high time for me to write something in here.i feel obliged to write albeit the sluggishness. :) nothing much to update,really. but hey, i go back home every weekend nowdays. like old times sake when i was in penang. yeah, it costs, a lot but i guess there's nothing much there in kuching that have me fond.
my relationship with my superior?hmm~devastating.one word.thousands stories.it's personal now, and gone beyond professionalism, i guess. but what actually went wrong? i screwed up, yes, i did. he's micromanaging? a bit. i had my thoughts on this and i scrutinied it to one word. TRUST. the trust between us is no longer like what we have established when i was first adopted into his team.
when trust is decreasing, it costs higher and slows things down. the communications deteriorated, both of us keep labelling ourselves, lacking of integrity, talk bad on each other behind our backs, things like that. he misinterpreted almost what i said and got them all flat out wrong. it is really discouraging and wearing me down.
now that i've identified the root cause, what's next? the real challenge is not just wacking the roots instead of plucking the thousand leaves. it's the follow through, the fertilizing and watering part of the plant. sort of. first, apologize. bow low to the fartest. only the strong can have a sincere apologing manner. i somehow doubt that he will return the favour but, let's skip that part. if i am sincere, insyAllah he will do the same thing. second, action speaks louder than hailer. i have to prove him wrong. and we will see how things go by.
if i regain the trust, have it repaired, and have it fully restored, i will be back on track. i foresee things will be expedited. people says if you have violated the trust given, distrust, it is almost impossible to get fixed. i read the book "speed of trust" by Covey. it emphasized that it is can be achieved.
have faith, and never give up..i am bold, but the character is just too harsh for the boss. sorry..hehe..