i think i did write something about self control or self mastery about two years ago when i was in the self transition towards a better chap, towards the public victory. and today i want to continue write about it. self control.
i often look it in the anger management perspective. you know, to hold your tongue from expressing the unnecessary things, things that you might regret saying them, which of course you can't take them back. and that makes it even worse.
being angry or having an argument is perfectly normal for a human being. we all have feelings, and since we are so inevitably complicatedly built, we tend to argue. but it is crucial to know the border line, when to stop, to call it off. to take a step back, and think, do we really need to win this? or is it really worth of a fight? and even, why on earth we argue in the first place?
self mastery is so deep that it can't be measured. only one knows the extend of his self control. but i like to relate it with maturity, kind of directly. if we can control ourselves against the retaliation hence self humiliation in future endeavours, we are in the right direction towards the higher level of maturity.
here i want to share how to control yourself against the constant evil mind chatter that can lead you to do or say something stupid. simple, breathe. deep breathing. take a deep breath, while counting backwards from ten to one in your conscious mind. to make it even better, imagine the shapes of the number you're counting. the more you are drawn into it, the more you are tapped in to your subconscious mind. make sure you breathe via your nose not your mouth. we all born with the endowment of breathing through our nose and directly filling up our lugs. we only breathe through the mouth for massive air intake (if that's a proper way to address it) when we are panic, suffocating or sleepy but that's yawning. and then, once your tummy or your diaphragm to be precise is inflated fully, hold it for one second and then release the air via our nose with the count from one to ten.
with extra oxygen being rushed into our systems, there's plenty of benefits that we gain automatically. one, our muscles, joints and flexes are more relaxed. two, our mind is suddenly freed up from negative thoughts, those tiny sinister whispers or evil drives encouraging us to react aggressively, especially when we are in the middle of an argument. three, it will take us somewhere in our mind, somewhere isolated. it's like you are somewhere else, your mind is withdrawn from the rough discussion. your body might still be there, but your mind is completely focussing on something else. what is more fascinating is, that something is nothing. your mind is totally empty. you regain your balance, and focus. i know, as funny as it sounds, but it is a great technique for you to tap in to your subconscious.
this is very effective if you want to clear your mind after a rough and tough day at work, the traffic congestions or what not, and let your subconscious mind take you to your five minutes day dreaming. it's so refreshing and breathtaking, hence the process :p and you can recharge your brain to continue whatever you are planning to do onwards. it helps you to develop patience, and self control.
i hope it helps. because, it does help me in my golf game and my other daily routine. i was so drawn into my subconscious mind, that i didn't think about anything during my swing, or driving. i just "do" it. it's like brushing your teeth. you woke up in the morning, you never think about how many muscles involved to pick up the brush, how much pressure you put onto the paste so that the right amount of paste coming out and placed onto the brush, how much pressure to put onto your gums and teeth and list goes on. it just happened and it happens everyday without fail.
so, use it repetitively and you'll be good at it. you can use it to control your temper or just to access your five minutes ride into your mind heaven :)