Saturday, 5 May 2012

my vision of love

my daughter insyirah is almost a week's old today. so many things happened for the past one week and i learned a lot of things too. from the contraction, pre labour, during labour itself, post labour, the breast feeding, post feed burping, woke up multiple times at nights, cleaning and changing the diapers, the registration, visitors, and jaundice.

yes, i was in the labour room and i witnessed it all. the pain, the sacrifices, the love of a mother giving birth. i couldn't help myself not to weep. it was so painful, that i didn't pass out even though there were blood everywhere. i was so focused on my wife. calming her down. cracked a joke, but it didn't work out. the doctor even used a scissor to cut it a bit to ease the delivery. my god :(

and i could see her hairs and there she was, the labour room was filled by her cry. her first tears. and what a relief. i went for wudhuk and athan her immediately. and only Him knows how i felt that time. i cried. she stopped crying and looked at me when i athan and exhaled syahdah at the ears. and i could see the vision of love. so pure. so clear. she even tilted her head so that her right ear is closer to my voice. smart girl :)

she's such a beautiful baby. everybody loves insyirah. my parents, my parents in law, sisters in law, my sister, everybody. i was crying and smiling at the same time. so soft that i couldn't hide my feelings. mixed feelings. wonderful feelings. it's like my testosterone plummeted :P

after 5 days, her bilirubin level increased to 16.5 and she had to be admitted so that they could put her under UV phototheraphy. i couldn't sleep. worried. but alhamdulillah, after one night the bilirubin level decreased to 12.3 and discharged today. again, another relief of hearts. having and raising a baby is like riding a roller-coaster, taking me to the extremes. one day you are all smiling while changing diapers, and you can be scratching your head worrying why she wouldn't want to feed.

anyway, in conjunction of kris allen new single, i dedicate this song especially to my girls, my wife and daughter, my vision of love and to my family who helped us a lot for the past one week. what a week it has been. i really like the song. until then, i'm excusing myself to continue my journey deeper into this parenthood world :)