the new monarch

it's been almost a fortnight after my solemnization. alhamdulillah, so far so good. despite those small hiccups here and there, i had always know that in the end, all will be well. and thank god, it all went well. and one thing for sure, me and my family, we totally nailed it at our reception, especially. that, i assure you :P

and, i did cried after i did it. it was so stressful prior to the confession, the matrimony. the confession of acceptance. like a mountain to climb. i was panting, excessively. but tried my ultimate best to remain composed and collected, clandestinely :)

and in one breath, i was officially married and her father officially handed her over to me. and tears couldn't stop flowing. but at the same time i was flooded with relief. what a day to be remembered. it was like, living a full life in a few seconds. it's like it all flashed back in front of my bare eyes. my life, the whole cycle. and the tears were for the beginning. of a new life, a new chapter. it was like i'm giving birth to a new monarch, a new idealism, full of responsibilities.

and then, the irony starts. it's kind of strange that i couldn't express much what i'm feeling now. i'm always exaggeration prone, the explosively expressive, full of thoughts. and facial expressions, imitations from movies, waving hands, redundant and repetitive words or lines were my thing. but when it comes to this, it's like i'm so secretive, i keep it all to myself. mysterious isn't it?

but one of my close friends, ninie, said, she sees the good stuffs in me now..that i'm more relaxed. well, that's something good to know, ain't it sunny? :) and i do hope it's true, and far more important, it's going to be permanent and blooming, and i will be all dandy.

but it's not all about me nowadays, right? i hope i can make her happy. and everybody. including me. and i'm trying my best to. it's so funny how i do it. tolerate. against the differences. against the odds. well, this is life. i know it's not going to be easy. but this is it. the life that i've always wanted. balance and humble. that every modest guy prays for. and modest is not average, not necessarily. and surely, balance is not something ordinary. hardly.