change and resistance to change

fellow readers. greetings...earthlings and eorlingas (the name of the tribe for rohan, land of the horse lords in LOTR). crap, i know. abaikan..

today i want to talk about change. yes, people change and we all do change. we do it all the time, and it's part of the process. life without change just wouldn't be a living and won't make a life. i've been contemplating recently. about, of course, change. you know, those kinda questions mingling and commingle with silly thoughts and again yes, ignited by past vast experiences.

what do we need in order to change? okay, lets go back to the very basic, why do we change in the first place? is it because we have to? or is it only because we are forced to; as we go along the way and all the sudden, things are not working out anymore and we feel like now it is time to change? major breakthrough, paradigm shift, you name it, whatever, it's all come back to the roots of being transformed into something new, converting, executing, implementing, rehearsing, performing, NEW things. surprisingly this very one noun and/or verb can be coupled with so many other verbs. as much as it can be for the better and goods, or vice versa, surprisingly, who knows. only we know. you and i both knew it.

and then, speaking of change, does it tag along intact with TIME? i am pretty sure that all of us have gone through series of change chain. yeah, quite a tongue twister. hmm, i would go for yes. lets face it, when we were young we saw things differently. as we grow older, the wiser we turn up to be. and of course, we see things differently. i used to love big sized billabong and no fear t-shirts. what about now (chris daughtry's what about now?) ? M or L t-shirts and baggy jeans are big no nos nowdays. hehe..

but then, that is all the change occurring within ourselves. what about changing other people? hehey, not too fast buddy. it would be best called as "influence", don't you think? recently something happened, and it was not the very first time things like that happen to me. yeah, it sucks just to think how bad it could be if you know how stupid you are not to learn from your past mistakes and pitfalls.

now, lets talk about my problem. one of my problems in a long list is that i always come to think that i can change someone. i think i have the credibility in influencing people around me, building relationships and enhancing personalities. now i know, i am so damn fucking wrong. there's no way you can change or instill values in somebody else personality. shit crap if you think you can. people will only change if they want them to. if they feel like doing so. people change stimulated by their environment, surroundings and daily occurrences. but not by other people. not directly, literally indirectly, maybe.

i guess it's in our nature as a human to have that kind of emotional attachment for someone you care that u feel like you are obliged, as you ought to save them from so called disaster. like you are some kind of messiah shit sent to be her/his savior. and trust me, it is hard to change. that is why people resist to change. always..forever.

have any idea why? in my personal cases and point of view, it's very much caused by the inner thoughts of fear. the greatest fear of all, and it would be the fear of losing. believe me, THAT is one of the common generic fear we have in this corrupted world.

this is only change that i am writing. and it haven't been extended to "exchange" or "interchange". i can't imagine how bad the scrolling part could be if i do so. hehe..maybe not here, another post perhaps.

till then, here is something to ponder, i'd say, "fuck it, it's not your job, not your duty to change them. just let them be. it's not worth for the energy to even consider! it's already too late..."