in the essence of time

how well you treasure your time? is it really important to you to manage your time effectively? nowadays, people talk about the big rocks of managing time and time management. but, does anyone know that time also can tell different stories, truth and it also can heal wounds, or broken hearts?

i think we have to agree that when it comes to heart matters, we as mere mortals can't be objective or think straight anymore. it's not easy. difficult to make decisions when our head is so messed up with our emotions. there's no yes or no answers and it will never be black or white. it is all grey when you are in that state.

what's wrong actually? i think, if you really mean something that you said to someone that you care, you will be opened up and will be vulnerable. you'll have the high tendency to get hurt over trivial things, the small small things. because you were honest and sincere about how you feel towards the other person. once your head can't operate in its appropriate manner, you will say or do things that you'll regret afterward.

what happen to me? i think its been awhile since the last time i was in love. and there is something about me being in love. i have this "oneitis" syndrome and symptoms like there is no other, there is no replacement for her and i give it all like tomorrow never come. laughs. funny as it sounds, but i seldom get into this kind of trouble.

so, what do i mean by time as medium of medication? sometimes, we just need to let it slide and heal by itself. space and time are brothers and interrelated to each other. together, they work wonders. if you let it be by itself leaving it with a space, a room to heal, a medium to recover and to learn, as time goes by, the result will come. some people they can forgive but they can't really forget of the collateral damages done or taken place. but as time permits and space enduring, people will eventually come to their senses that it is not really an ugly world afterall and there's always hope or something to learn out of it.

all my life i have hurt people around me and i have been hurt many times as well. it reciprocates. i am so sorry for all the bad things i've done and those harsh words i've thrown. i just want to you to know that i mean well and i've learn things out of it. it's not that i don't regret or ashamed of my wrongdoings but i like to think that there's always light at the end of the tunnel and there's always rainbow after rain. i learned a lot from my mistakes to become a better man, not a boy and all those had me coloured and colored my life. like a rainbow. but in a permanent kind of fashion.

God creates me this way with all the strength and weaknesses. for me to leverage, to share, to coach other people, to extend my joy and happiness in order to make people that i care to be happy. and to learn to improve gradually from others. not to distract or make other people's life miserable. i just want to love regardless and unconditionally and i hope to be loved endlessly.

dear you, yes, you know who you. i just want you to know that i really care about you and it never occurs to me, not even a split second of the essence of time for me to think of hurting or bringing harm to you. i never been this sincere and you teach me a lot of things, you analyzed me and your analysis teaches me to open up. that its good at times to be yourself again. your kindness and care healed me and helped me go through my nightmares and darkest fears. i know i have never been nice to you, and i don't have anything to offer. all i am is just a complex difficult subject for you to comprehend. so sorry. but deep down inside i just want to you to know that i want to share things with you, and maybe perhaps you can learn something out of me, even the silliest thing it might be.

now, all i need from you is you to forgive me and i'm hoping that you won't give up on me and my change wave. my quantum leap change progression. i'm growing for the better and i seriously hope that you can be a part of it. all we need is time and patience. i know we can be amazing, amazingly significant to each other eventhough it stays platonic. i am so proud that i've known you that our path crossed eventhough i didn't start in the kind of good footings you would expect me to..

finally, we have come to the end and after series of reality checks and reality really does bite. back to reality. i hope you cherish my ever presence and the colors i brought into your life. and the pantone colors never stains, never sinks and never fades. i wish. i hope.