insecurity

insecurity? yeah, some people lacks confidence. some people looks truthful and all fired up with esteem in the outside but the truth is they are worried inside. worry of rejection, resentment, disapproval, it could be anything.

what is this all about. nothing. i went to a seminar held by my company and attended by all the managers and above. a general manager greeted me and said " i heard you are back in subang, back in the operations, your forte'..". i was like, wow.."forte' "?

the truth is, i never think of it that way. yes, i'd prefer the operations over maintenance, looking at the current settings and ambiance. but, somehow i have this so called deep sound fear inside of me, relinquishing myself from all those big big huge responsibilities, on my very bare arguably wide shoulders. hehe.

never mind i said to me self. just go with the flow, and shall we not think of it too hard so that it won't get on me somehow, somewhere.

the complexity of the job, seriously gives me the chill, the insecurity. oh i am, the lousy aviator~

p/s: counting my days to buy speedlite flash gun!!