neon tree farm

i went to i-city, somewhere near shah alam yesterday for an outdoor photoshoot with few close friends. it was a good outing. we took pictures..and after that, we had a big fat sweet air batu campur with extra chocolate and peanuts :)

warm yellowish sunset, cool spots, good weekend mood, empty memory card, fully charged battery, perfect outdoor outing checked!

here are some of the pictures i took. it was a difficult to frame good neon trees with good white balance, contrast and color. i was struggling all the way. but in the end, it's the thought, laughter and spending quality time outdoor with good friends around that counts. it is, good to be back, for good. taking pictures with justin bieber's baby played in the air. ahaks :p




to browse and view the rest of crazyh pictures taken, do visit my flickr photo page. till then, asta~

insecurity

insecurity? yeah, some people lacks confidence. some people looks truthful and all fired up with esteem in the outside but the truth is they are worried inside. worry of rejection, resentment, disapproval, it could be anything.

what is this all about. nothing. i went to a seminar held by my company and attended by all the managers and above. a general manager greeted me and said " i heard you are back in subang, back in the operations, your forte'..". i was like, wow.."forte' "?

the truth is, i never think of it that way. yes, i'd prefer the operations over maintenance, looking at the current settings and ambiance. but, somehow i have this so called deep sound fear inside of me, relinquishing myself from all those big big huge responsibilities, on my very bare arguably wide shoulders. hehe.

never mind i said to me self. just go with the flow, and shall we not think of it too hard so that it won't get on me somehow, somewhere.

the complexity of the job, seriously gives me the chill, the insecurity. oh i am, the lousy aviator~

p/s: counting my days to buy speedlite flash gun!!

your own disaster

i am sitting alone in my empty apartment. i just packed and cleared my things and ready to be shipped back to the city center. oh, i'm so going to miss this place. nothing much, sitting back, with vitagen in my hand, and my ears plugged with ear phones, listening to a play list full of alternatives span songs.

tonight i'm going to have my 3rd farewell dinner from different parties, organized by bunch of friends. hehe.

one of the song that caught my attention was sparta's breaking the broken and your own disaster, popularized by taking back sunday. these were the songs i used to play and listened when i was in graduate years. i started with finch's what it is to burn. hell yeah. and there was brand new with their hit, the quiet things that no one ever knows..haha..what a name for a song. vintage.

and now it is all about neyo, ludacris, katy perry, taylor swift, justin bieber and jay sean? hahaha.. well, you got to admit emo alternatives are long gone and it's pop era nowadays.

for you there, you know who, this song is for you..

just think of this and me
as just a few of the many things
to lie around,
to clutter up your shelves
and I wish you weren't worth the wait
cause there are some things
that I'd like to say to you

and I don't think that you know
what you've been missing
cause I don't think that you know
what you've been missing

and I dare you to forget
the marks you left across my neck
from those nights when we were both found at our best
now I could make this obvious and you,
you could deny me
all in one breath
you could shrug me off your shoulders

and I don't think that you know
what you've been missing
cause I don't think that you know
what you've been missing
and I don't think that you know
said I don't think that you know
said I don't think that you know
what you've been missing

hey lush, have fun
it's the weekend
hey lush, have fun
hey lush, have fun
it's the weekend
hey lush, have fun
(no I don't think that you know
what you've been missing)
hey lush, have fun
it's the weekend

(no I don't think that you know
what you've been missing)
hey lush, have fun
[forget me, it's that simple]
(no I don't think that you know
what you've been missing)
hey lush, have fun
[forget me, it's that simple]
it's the weekend
(no I don't think that you know
what you've been missing)
[forget me it's that simple]
(no I don't think that you know
what you've been missing)
hey lush, have fun
[forget me it's that simple]
it's the weekend

just forget me, it's that simple?

blast from the past

you can click on these two pictures and save them with bigger size and bigger resolution. actually you can do that on all pictures in fact..


i just came back from my beloved royal town of Kuala Kangsar. me and the brothers had our long awaited 10 years anniversary celebration there, in conjunction with the annually scheduled MCOBA weekend.

oh yes, we had fun there. like old times. it was a good "back to school" trip. we ate. a lot. we played games and sports, we slept in dorms, woke up late, ate again, laughed, made silly jokes, bla bla bla, you name it. it was so like we were used to be, minus the academic part. hehe. and plus the sore throat due to the constant laughing and screaming. hahaha.

we had cendoi pulut, mee rebus and laksa at the riverbank..we had egg on toast, wan tan hoe mee and roti bakar at yut loy kopitiam..we rewinded the old stories..old jokes..making fun of ourselves..oh, god i miss those days.

some of us grew up drastically, some of us never changed. some of us grew bald, balder and balder, and most of us have grey hairs already..i know most of us have gone through a lots of thing but we gathered, we were all ourselves again. like we were fifteen, sixteen..or maybe seventeen..it's good to be back..no worries, carefree, lighthearted..


some of us got married and brought along their children. and most of us still wandering single. hahaha. whatever it is..we are still who we are, like we were and i foresee we are going to be like we are forever. we had our own performance that night. played our old songs..songs we used to sing and listen when we were young and when we had our music evolutions. punks. yeah, rancid, silverchair and rage against the machine were few examples of bands we used to admire that time.


here are some pictures i took during our gathering. one word to describe what we had. awesome! surely was a blast, blast from the past~

conveniently complacent

i had a long day today. didn't get enough sleep last night. watched real madrid versus racing santander, scheduled la liga game live from el sardinero, north coast of spain last night. woke up as early as five and rush to the airport. went to bintulu for my site hand over to my successor.

then in the afternoon, flew back to kuala lumpur. and had a nice long chat western dinner with a friend. but that's not what i'm trying to write here. lol. scrap all those irrelevant introduction if that's the convention. :)

during my traveling hours in the flight and train to the city, it got me to think. am i being convenient as in too nice that in the end people took advantage of my kindness, took me for granted? or was it just me being too naive, compromising with complacent people?

whatever it was, i was too, too conveniently complacent, that i let my guards down, my radar off, not being well aware of those circumstances, these consequences. well, some people, they think they feel or own some feelings, but the truth is, they aren't. they just think it that way. they like to feel good about themselves. they just like the idea of being that way, the idea of having people like me around. it is nice. so good that it drowns them in their own complacency.


the hard, difficult truth behind it on the other hand is, they just don't give a shit about me. full stop.

in the end, i am numb now, cold, and disbelief that we are all living in a nice world. we are all living in damn crazy world, swamp by infectious broken society. maybe. perhaps vampires do really exist. i don't know..